We are not professional beer judges. We haven’t taken the Beer Judge Certification Program (BJCP) and don’t participate in beer judging contests.

But, we know what we like, and we know what we don’t like. We also know that it’s not as black-and-white as all that; we like some things more than others. We’ve avoided giving ratings in the beers we review (although I tried it early on) because, well, it doesn’t really mean anything. Instead, we try to use words to convey how much we like a particular beer.

Recently, Ron and I and a couple of close friends were sitting around (over a couple of beers, naturally) and talking about this a bit. If we were going to implement a rating system, what would it look like? It was actually a rather lively debate.

Here, then, is the unofficial Hop Talk beer rating system:

5. Outstanding – I would drive out of my way to acquire this beer. I will ask my retailer to order it for me. I will pay a premium for this beer. I may resort to violence if someone tries to take it away from me.

4. Very good – I like it. I really like it. I will thank you wholeheartedly for giving it to me. If it is commonly available from my retailer I may make it my “usual”.

3. Good – Not my favorite, but not that bad either. Barring other options, I’ll drink this and enjoy it.

2. Passable – If this is my only choice, then I guess I’ll tough it out.

1. Not good – I will feel no guilt by not finishing this beer. I would rather not drink beer at all if this is all I have to choose from.

0. Awful – I will spit out this beer, if it can even be called “beer”. Whoever brought it will not be invited to my house again.

Of course, in different circumstances any beer may move up or down in the ratings. A megabrewed American pilsner, for instance, would usually rate about a 1 or 2 to me. After a hard, sweaty day of yard work on a summer day, or while eating hot wings at a New York Giants tailgate, it would jump up to a 3 or 4.