For the last several years I have been on maintenance medication for my cholesterol. It’s not too bad, but bad enough that my physician wanted to control it. I’ve been trying to eat healthier and to get more exercise, but both are harder than I thought. (Having a long commute and young children at home doesn’t leave much time for working out.) At the very least, I’ve stopped eating like I’m eighteen years old.

Before that, I had been on maintenance for my triglycerides. Cholesterol and triglyceride numbers often move together. (The relationship is a mystery to me, although my wife could probably explain it. It’s not germane to this story, though.) Considering that there is Type 2 Diabetes and Hypoglycemia in my family history I’m not surprised that one got out of whack. But then it was okay and we were focused on my cholesterol.

I went to the doctor the other day to discuss my recent blood tests. My cholesterol is fine, but my triglycerides were high. High enough that my doctor is sending me for more tests to see if I’m becoming diabetic or pre-diabetic and is talking about having me see to a nutritionist.

Then she rattled of some foods that I pretty much need to drop from my diet. White bread (no problem, I eat whole grain), regular pasta (I actually like the whole grain pasta), white potatoes (damn; I love me mashed potatoes), white rice (I’m not a big rice eater), ice cream (uh-oh), beer…

No, say it ain’t so.

“Beer is pure triglycerides” is what she said, in fact.

Now, I’m not one of those guys who comes home from work and has three or five beers before going to bed. For one thing, considering the beer I drink, I couldn’t possibly afford it. It’s not uncommon for a six-pack of beer to last me a week or more. Oh, sure, that fluctuates (I can think of a particular weekend in October when that gets tossed out) but by-and-large I’m not that big a drinker.

Trouble is it’s a passion of mine. I mean, I write a blog about it.

Thankfully, it’s a passion and a hobby, and not my livelihood.

I think I’m in the “Bargaining” stage. I’m willing to never have chocolate, ice cream, milkshakes, etc. again. But don’t take away this delicious elixir.

Update: Well, a subsequent test shows my glucose is normal for the last three months. WTF?